Today’s letter - sliding down the slippery slope

Dear Governor Schwarzenegger -

I wanted to explain to you why the stakes are so high for this November’s ballot initiative limiting marriage to heterosexual couples.

Michigan’s State Supreme Court ruled yesterday 5-2 that their 2004 ballot initiative to limit marriage also included “similar unions” and stripped at least 375 gay couples at public universities, community colleges, school districts and local governments of their benefits. It doesn’t’ take a crystal ball to realize that as soon as the Limit on Marriage passes, the Opponents of Equality will be gunning to unwind domestic partnerships too.

Because of the Domestic Partnership legislation that you signed in 2000, I have been able to make a pretty good life here in California, marry my husband and have two kids through surrogacy. I have been able to contribute back to the economy and society through taxes and tithing. But the Limit on Marriage proposition threatens to take all that away.

Your reaction to the initiative that would wreck my life has been merely neutral. I know that there are a lot of other things that are important these days, but could you amp it up a bit? A few words in opposition to the people in your administration, government and political party who are dedicated to eliminating same-sex partner benefits, child custody, and adoption would do wonders. You need only to remind them of the golden rule – and why limiting marriage is a truly bad proposition.

Yours,

Today’s letter - Elliot Spitzer can wed, why can’t I?

Dear Governor Schwarzenegger -

New York Governor Elliot Spitzer was just caught using a prostitute. He will probably have to step down as Governor, but he and his spouse will have the option of preserving or dissolving their marriage as they see fit. The government does not intervene in this most personal and intimate decision, even with alleged adultery.

I have never used a prostitute, but the government still punishes me and my partner by removing our ability to choose marriage, just because we are a same-sex couple.

Where is the justice in that?

Yours,

Today’s letter - get us off this four-year see-saw

Dear Governor Schwarzenegger -

My fiancée and I are trapped in the California legal system. In early 2004, we got married; in late 2004, our marriage was annulled. In 2005 a trial judge said we could get married; in 2006 an appeals court said we couldn’t. Now finally in 2008 the State Supreme Court will hear and judge on whether our Constitution lets a mere eight-year-old voter initiative carve out a whole group of people and specially remove their freedom to marry.

I don’t understand why it takes four years to figure out if a voter initiative beats out the State Constitution. It seems to me this should be pretty clear. In the meantime, the Opponents of Equality have been trying again and again to pass a Constitutional Amendment to permanently exclude me and my fiancée from our economy and society.

Governor, help us get us off this see-saw! As a defendant in this case, please tell the California Supreme Court that all Californians need the freedom to marry, and they need it NOW. My husband and I are tired of waiting.

Yours,

Today’s letter - protest pending

Dear Governor Schwarzenegger -

This Valentines Day, it will have been four years since my husband and I were married in San Francisco. Because our union was rudely annulled by your administration, and subsequent legislative efforts were blocked by your veto, I will be marking the occasion by joining other fair-minded Californians at my county courthouse begging you for the privilege to get married again.

We have come so far: my finance and I have been together for almost eleven years; we have been domestic partnered for eight; we have two wonderful children and a pretty nice life.

You might ask why I need to spend my anniversary asking for the freedom to marry - again? All I can ask you to do is to think back to your wedding and tell me how you would feel if that was made illegal. If some government authority stepped in and said your vows were meaningless, your relationship second-rate and your legal filings null and void.

No matter what you think about gay marriage, all Americans are entitled to the freedom to pursue life, liberty and happiness. And that includes the freedom to marry the person they love.

It is important to me, and to my fellow countrymen that no government takes away that freedom. It would be wrong to do anything on the day that stands for love to stand up for love.

Yours,

CC: one of the marriage licenses that you annulled

Today’s letter - will the court hear from you too?

Dear Governor Schwarzenegger -

When the State Supreme Court hears the marriage exclusion case on March 4, they will face an unprecedented torrent of evidence that there is nothing wrong with gay marriage, and a historic outcry for full constitutional inclusion of same-sex couples in our economy and society.

In addition to the fifteen same-sex couples, support has come from such widespread sources as:
 counties and municipalities including Los Angeles, San Diego, San Jose, Long Beach, Sacramento, and Oakland.
 legal and bar associations, including the Los Angeles County Bar Association.
 religious and civil rights leaders and organizations, including the California NAACP, Mexican American Legal Defense and Educational Fund, California Council of Churches, Asian Pacific American Legal Center, and National Black Justice Coalition.

Will they hear from you?

Your support would mean a lot both to the court and my family. Tell them that California needs same-sex marriage and they need it now. It’s the least you can do to ensure the freedom of all Californians.

Yours,

Today’s letter - my marriage restored my faith that goverment works

Dear Governor Schwarzenegger -

Next week, on February 14, it will have been four years since my husband and I were married in San Francisco.

Two days before, two friend of ours from Washington D.C. – who are now godparents of our children – pointed out that the marriages in San Francisco might not continue for long. We decided to seize the opportunity and elope.

The morning of Valentine’s Day we hopped on a Southwest flight and emerged from the BART to find that love had erupted. Not Ted Haggard / Larry Craig kind of love, but couple after couple who had been waiting together for years for this day. We were herded through City Hall and got to say our vows to each other in the atrium. Even I was unable to hold back tears as I promised my best friend and lover that I would be his “until death do us part” and we were declared “spouses for life.”

We had time to have a romantic dinner in Fisherman’s Wharf before catching our flight out of Oakland back to L.A.

That day was important for us because it really solidified what we meant to each other, and had a piece of paper to prove it. My husband’s parents had always treated us as a couple, and were quite upset that they hadn’t been invited to the wedding. For my parents it was more significant - from that point on, my parents also treated us as spouses for life.

Most of all, it restored my faith in my government, that we could overcome our divisions and really behave according to our beliefs: that no matter what you think about gay marriage, all Americans are entitled to the freedom to pursue life, liberty and happiness. And that includes the freedom to marry the person they love.

Yours,

Today’s letter - the video made me cry

Dear Governor Schwarzenegger -

I’m still haunted by the images in the Let California Ring commercial “Garden Wedding.” In this sixty second ad by DDB Worldwide, church bells ring as a bride prepares for her big day. The door sticks, cars block her path to the wedding pavilion, low-hanging branches foil her veil, then on her way down the aisle when she just makes eye contact with her groom, somebody sticks out their foot and she trips and falls. The message covers the screen: “what if you couldn’t marry the person you love?”

As a gay dad in a Domestic Partnership, I feel like this bride in a nightmare: so close to the altar, yet constantly foiled from marrying the person I love by things completely out of my control. Like when you chose to veto AB 43, the bill that would have let me marry the person that I love. That was really mean.

Strong families and individual choice are the cornerstone of California’s economy and your political party. I just want the government to support my choice to form and keep strong families through marriage.

Yours,

Today’s letter - Let the Punishment Fit the Crime

Dear Governor Schwarzenegger -

As an American, I was taught that the freedom to express ones beliefs is fundamental to our society. But I was also taught that expression brings responsibility, and abuse brings consequences. Abraham Lincoln summed this up when he said “Those who deny freedom deserve it not for themselves.” This weekend, we got a real-life demonstration of what happens when people believe in denying freedom to others.

Episcopal Bishop John-David Schofield of San believes that gay people should be banned from performing sermons, confirmations and rites. He recently led his diocese away from the national church on this issue, to ally with an Anglican church based in Buenos Aires.

The Episcopal Church responded by, appropriately, banning him from performing sermons, confirmations and rites.

I wish you would stand up for freedom, Governor, by identifying the Republicans who want to block lesbian and gay couples from marriage, and proclaim that their marriages are annulled. It would be no more arbitrary than annulling my marriage, which you did in 2004, and certainly teach a better lesson about commitment than banning committed relationships.

As Lincoln realized, the consequence of “doing unto others” is to be “done unto.” Won’t you see to it that justice is done?

Yours,

ATTACHMENT: Public Officials who have endorsed a ban on my marriage

Public Officials to be Banned from Marriage

State Senators
Senator Dick Ackerman (R-Tustin) – http://www.senate.ca.gov/Ackerman
Senator Sam Aanestad (R-Redding) - http://www.senate.ca.gov/Aanestad
Senator Roy Ashburn (R-Bakersfield ) - http://www.senate.ca.gov/Ashburn
Senator James Battin, Jr. (R-La Quinta) - http://www.senate.ca.gov/Battin
Senator John Campbell (R-Irvine) - http://www.senate.ca.gov/Campbell
Senator Dave Cox (R-Fair Oaks) - http://www.senate.ca.gov/Cox
Senator Jeff Denham (R-Merced) - http://www.senate.ca.gov/Denham
Senator Bob Dutton (R-San Bernadino) - http://www.senate.ca.gov/Dutton
Senator Dennis Hollingsworth (R- El Cajon) - http://www.senate.ca.gov/Hollingsworth
Senator Abel Maldonado (R-Santa Maria) - http://www.senate.ca.gov/Maldonado
Senator Bob Margett (R-Arcadia) - http://www.senate.ca.gov/Margett
Senator Tom McClintock (R-Thousand Oaks) - http://www.senate.ca.gov/McClintock
Senator Bill Morrow (R-Oceanside) - http://www.senate.ca.gov/Morrow
Senator Charles Poochigian (R-Fresno) - http://www.senate.ca.gov/Poochigian
Senator George Runner (R-Antelope Valley) - http://www.senate.ca.gov/Runner
Senator Mark Wyland (R-Carlsbad) - http://www.assembly.ca.gov/Wyland

Assembly Members
Assemblyman Greg Aghzarian (R-Stockton) - http://www.assembly.ca.gov/Aghazarian
Assemblyman John Benoit (R-Palm Desert) - http://www.assembly.ca.gov/Benoit
Assemblyman Russ Bogh (R-Yucaipa) - http://www.assembly.ca.gov/Bogh
Assemblyman Dave Cogdill (R-Modesto) - http://www.assembly.ca.gov/Cogdill
Assemblyman Chuck Devore (R-Irvine) - http://www.assembly.ca.gov/DeVore
Assemblyman Bill Emmerson (R-Redlands) - http://www.assembly.ca.gov/Emmerson
Assemblyman Tom Harman (R-Huntington Beach) - http://www.assembly.ca.gov/Harman
Assemblyman Guy Houston (R-San Ramon) - http://www.assembly.ca.gov/Houston
Assemblyman Bob Huff (R-Diamond Bar) - http://www.assembly.ca.gov/Huff
Assemblyman Rick Keene (R-Chico) - http://www.assembly.ca.gov/Keene
Assemblyman Doug LaMalfa (R-Biggs) - http://www.assembly.ca.gov/LaMalfa
Assemblyman Jay LaSuer (R-LaMesa) - http://www.assembly.ca.gov/LaSuer
Assemblyman Bill Maze (R-Visalia) - http://www.assembly.ca.gov/Maze
Assemblyman Dennis Mountjoy (R-Monrovia) - http://www.assembly.ca.gov/Mountjoy
Assemblyman Alan Nakanishi (R-Lodi) - http://www.assembly.ca.gov/Nakanishi
Assemblyman Roger Niello (R-Sacramento) - http://www.assembly.ca.gov/Niello
Assemblyman George Plescia (R-San Diego) - http://www.assembly.ca.gov/Plescia
Assemblywoman Sharon Runner (R-Lancaster) - http://www.assembly.ca.gov/Runner
Assemblywoman Audra Strickland (R-Camarillo) - http://www.assembly.ca.gov/Strickland
Assemblyman Van Tran (R-Costa Mesa) - http://www.assembly.ca.gov/Tran
Assemblyman Michael Villines (R-Clovis) - http://www.assembly.ca.gov/Villines
Assemblywoman Mimi Walters (R-Laguna Niguel) - http://www.assembly.ca.gov/Walters

Today’s letter - Please make an example of the best

Dear Governor Schwarzenegger -

As Governor of California, could you make an exception to the law so that my fiancée and I can get married?

We are both outstanding citizens, we have lived together for ten years, and in California for more than eight. Our newborn children bear both our names. We are good, faithful, committed Christians. We would be readily able to provide you with testimonials from all four of our parents, the ministers at our Church and the Godparents of our children – anything you need to convince yourself that we are worthy and capable of marriage.

Just like you can pardon felons and intervene in death row cases – and just like you were able to veto the law that would have let us wed – you must also have the power to say “there is no state interest served by keeping these people apart.”

If you’re going to support a special exclusion from liberty for people based on their gender and your religion, you must also be able to let us wed. Won’t you do at least that, for the best of your people?

Yours,

Today’s letter - Freedom Interrupted

Dear Governor Schwarzenegger -

Tomorrow Oregon was set to allow same-sex couples to enter into a better-than-nothing civil union structure like California, New Hampshire, Vermont and some other states. More than 500 couples planned to take their vows on New Year’s Day.

Just two days ago, a federal judge overrode the state law, saying that the needs of these couples to make a commitment to each other should take a back seat to the bitter desire of a few to keep them apart. Now 528 couples are waiting in limbo while their relationships are put on trial.

Would you like it if your wedding was canceled with just three days notice, Governor? I’m guessing not. Please help swing the mood in California so that what happened in Oregon can’t happen here (again).

You don’t have to break the law to say that you believe committed couples should have the freedom to choose marriage. You just have to break your silence.

Yours,

Today’s letter - Merry Christmas

[We sent The Governor our Christmas card, which shows me and my financee holding our two kids in front of the snow-covered castle at Disneyland. The kids are dressed as Mr. and Mrs. Claus in red jackets with white trim and matching hats.]

Governor Schwarzenegger -

Wherever you are, may you have a white Christmas and a joyous 2008.

[handwritten] Thank you for signing the bills last year that protect and nurture our family, and please help us to get the freedom to marry in 2008.

[signed by us all].

Today’s letter - be wary of mindless "defense of marriage"

Dear Governor Schwarzenegger -

I know that you, as a public officer, ought to be immune from using the Bible to justify public policy, but there was something in yesterday’s Gospel that reminded me why we should be particularly suspicious of those who claim “tradition” or “God’s will” as the reason for doing something, in this case excluding same-sex couples from the security of marriage.

According to Mark (Mark 7:1-23), Jesus was criticized by the scribes and Pharisees for failing to perform a ritual hand washing. He uses the opportunity to teach “how well you have set aside the commandment of God in order to uphold your tradition!” We learn that it is not the ritual that God wants, but the following of God’s commandment to love others as you love yourself.

I believe that when you annulled my marriage in 2004 and vetoed AB 849 in 2005, you were acting to “defend marriage” without thinking of the consequences to me and my family. I can’t imagine that you would like it if somebody annulled your marriage to Maria, but you did it to me.

As you consider the Religious Freedom and Civil Marriage Protection Act, I wish you would use your mind to think about which tradition God would want you to defend: the tradition of hate or the tradition of love; then sign AB 43 and support the freedom to marry.

Yours,